Words from an Insomniac still trying to find her way

I want my invisible cloak back

 I’ll make it plain and simple. Once upon a time I was this crazy kid, this daring, not afraid of anything, I can do it all kid, and I bet you I would’ve done anything too. Like fly or swim the great ocean, maybe even beat up bad people who truly deserved it. But then I grew up and everything changed. I was afraid to try  flying because I didn’t want to end up embarrassed or worse, dead, from failing. Don’t even get me started on the whole “fight” subject. I was the weakest link, the runt of the litter by the time I reached puberty. All my courage and pride were flushed down the toilet the day I opened my eyes and saw the “grown-up” world.

Growing up was like daily survival when I was young which made it easy to be strong and courageous without thinking of the side affects. I still had a few of those moments now as a grown up but they are rare and often times very foolish. Instead, I choose my battles instead of diving head first into everything. I still consider myself a rebel, crazy Suzie as others may remember, only now I do it with shoulder pads and seat belts.

The more I become involved with the Chicano Movement, with writers that have something important to say, I feel that crazy kid busting out of the box she has lived in for so many years. It is time for her to wake up and take action with others who are also important. I feel her bravery and fearlessness like an invisible cloak; strong and invincible. I want my invisible cloak back because I am about to walk into the pit of Gringo Hell and racism. It’s time to be a daring once again.


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