Words from an Insomniac still trying to find her way

There are so many women…

        Into this world I dive, headfirst, with feet and hands tied. With mouth stapled shut, and eyes

fully opened.  I am a slave to society, just like every other brilliant woman; full of

misunderstanding. I plunge into a society filled with ‘do as your told and keep your mouth shut’

and ‘your worth is of no importance.’  And why?  Are you aware of why we were created? Does it

not matter that we have the gift of bringing life into this world? Is it so wrong to love with such

compassion and conviction, with sheltered wings and a big heart? Instead, you branded me with

this shame, with a nameless face, with a mind that has no intelligence in the eyes of men. I am but

a body to be fondled, to be taken advantage of and then thrown away. I am only here to be used, to

be a punching bag, ignored, someone’s dirty whore, a NOBODY in this world. Men wonder why

we cry, why our emotions get the best of us, and why so many of us are filled with hatred or enjoy

being single mothers. You have nothing to give us, you have no reason to be in our lives. 

        How sad that in the end it is us [women] who are desperate. In the end our hearts give in, our

needs overwhelm us and so we pretend. We pretend to believe that love does exist. That this time

we will have a reason to stay. That our beauty will finally be recognized. We live in this daydream

every day. We wait patiently by the door, by the phone, in our dreams, for a change to occur. 

        All the while within our walls and our minds there grows a violent anger. A fed up, pissed off

reason to blow up and turn the tables around. There are so many of us, so many… And the fuel is

rising, and it is plenty.

                                                                                                                             March 2002


(These words are dedicated to the brave women who encourage themselves and each other to make change. Without your struggle (though there should never have been a struggle in the first place) women would not have found their voice, their strong will, and their importance. Of all the Creator’s creations, we were the best and most important that we were made to be one with man. One day these ‘men’ will get it . To women who continue to survive the struggle, “Live on my strong sisters, Live on!”)

P.S. For those ‘men’ who do get it; I applaud you. Now use your voice and share your understanding with those who aren’t as intelligent as you.

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