The makings of a good exit plan

17 Feb 2013

2 Comments

The makings of a good exit plan

Whine and Drool, I’m used to

When I look back

I will develop no excuses

I will not think twice

Will you ever understand?

You cry and feel guilty

then return to your normal routine

Will you ever learn?

I was so upset

and all I thought

All I imagined came crashing down on me

and you ignored everything

How about that?

I passed up Heaven

the day that I met you

and you never felt a thing

Just let me think

How do you justify,

how do you do anything

but make mistakes

and then some

When I think of everything

I think I’ll die eventually

and then it will all be over

Give or take, sooner or later

Just give it a few days in my old age

I’ve never felt better

then by letting it all go

Just a little time to say goodbye

as I walk away for good

I can get along without

I’ve done it before long ago

Just stop your whining- Please!

Whine and Drool… Part II

Good timing

As I change the scenery

(blah blah blah) and I forget what he said

Mistaken or taken for granted

And these tales (I can laugh now)

Misguided or blinded

I’m still making progress

I look around the corner

I realize that without anything

I’d still be better off as me

It’s a good thing really

In the back of my mind I still hear

His useless jokes (blah blah blah)

No common sense

From his sly smile

He was useless

With his witty bull

I’ll just sit here and pretend

That these gray clouds will cover

All his shit

Dark was the day before I left

Without a trace, just split

I still hear him whining

So many whiners, no time to whine.

July 2003

Posted in Letters and Poetry and tagged change of scenery, failure, mistakes, People, poetry, progress, Relationships, walking away

2 thoughts on “The makings of a good exit plan”

Cassie on February 17, 2013 at 11:34 am said:

I rolled through this! Excellent work
- chicana writer on February 17, 2013 at 12:15 pm said:
  
  thanks Cassie!

I am…

Born in 1975, I grew up with an eclectic number of influences in my family. From my parent's barrio life with cholos and cholas and the Oldies they listened to, to my cousin and mentor who invited me into his room to listen to punk rock and heavy metal to escape from grandma's evil tongue. And I can't forget hanging around the coolest uncle in (my) world and his vast album collection. Everything from The Go-Go's and ABC, to Stevie wonder and Earth, Wind, and Fire.
It was from these influences that I found myself always changing, whether it was a new hair style or the clothes I wore, everyday would be different from then on.
I delved into a world of books, film and music. In high school I found solace in the words of The Smiths and Bjork, in the music of the Cocteau Twins and Siouxsie and the Banshees. My favorite writers were Stephen King, William Burroughs, the Beat Movement and read all I could as their lifestyles fascinated me so. I still owe these wonderful women and men a debt of gratitude for lending me their words and struggles to help me put mine to use.
It was during this time that I began a journal of letters to my parents.( My father was absent for most of my life and my mother may as well have been.) This was the beginning of my journey into poetry and short stories as well. I had this visionary voice at the time, and all I wanted to do was write.
I now have additional favorite writers such as Sandra Cisneros and Stella Pope Duarte. The list continues to grow as does the knowledge and respect I have come to give my ancestors and family who struggled because of ignorant people.
I dedicate this blog to a people with something to say, with fire in their souls, and for a people I will never know personally but will respect and love unconditionally. I hope to find their stories and tell them to the world.

Chicana Writer

Words from an Insomniac still trying to find her way