Strange Ways are all I Have ~2008

Silence is the best Therapy ~2003

Sad Simplicity in the Silver Lining

This is how I say I love you

Where do I begin…

You can’t get rid of this Chicana

I am one,
never shaken
always stirred
into the view
most commonly blurred.
You will see
in my readiness
in all my glow,
I am one
just like it should be
for those who don’t know.
I am willing
to set aside your confusion
because I am easy to read
less likely to speak
when the written word
does enough for me.
I am still one
when the dawn is anew
and you are outside
the comfort of your shoes.
I am still on top
of those who fear to change
of those who quiver
at the sound of my name.
I am one
one who has won
when you thought
you’d break my spirit
and take away my song
you were wrong
like you always are
where I am concerned.

The makings of a good exit plan

Whine and Drool, I’m used to

When I look back

I will develop no excuses

I will not think twice

Will you ever understand?

You cry and feel guilty

then return to your normal routine

Will you ever learn?

 

I was so upset

and all I thought

All I imagined came crashing down on me

and you ignored everything

How about that?

I passed up Heaven

the day that I met you

and you never felt a thing

Just let me think

 

How do you justify,

how do you do anything

but make mistakes

and then some

When I think of everything

I think I’ll die eventually

and then it will all be over

Give or take, sooner or later

Just give it a few days in my old age

 

I’ve never felt better

then by letting it all go

Just a little time to say goodbye

as I walk away for good

I can get along without

I’ve done it before long ago

Just stop your whining- Please!

 

~

 

Whine and Drool… Part II

Good timing

As I change the scenery

(blah blah blah) and I forget what he said

Mistaken or taken for granted

And these tales (I can laugh now)

Misguided or blinded

I’m still making progress

 

I look around the corner

I realize that without anything

I’d still be better off as me

It’s a good thing really

 

In the back of my mind I still hear

His useless jokes (blah blah blah)

No common sense

From his sly smile

 

He was useless

With his witty bull

I’ll just sit here and pretend

That these gray clouds will cover

All his shit

 

Dark was the day before I left

Without a trace, just split

I still hear him whining

So many whiners, no time to whine.

 

July 2003

This Small World is Suffocating

This anxiety will get the best of me.

I am only 36. 

Can you believe this shit? 

Pardon the language but my hands are in control 

and my mind is telling them which way to go, 

Shakily.

 

I sit in this public library 

surrounded by strangers who just wanted to get away. 

From work

         from life

                from death

                        from themselves. 

Wait a minute, this sounds like myself. 

 

Today I would run if my legs permitted me. 

Cut up the credit cards

give away those stuffy work clothes 

sell almost everything 

pack a small bag and close the door. 

I already have a willing spouse. 

 

I don’t sleep

           hardly eat

                   hardly even remember to breathe. 

I don’t call this living, would you? 

What if we drove off into anywhere,

nothing holding us back? 

 

We are childless (by choice)

            Burden-less

                       reckless in a good way

                                  Isn’t this a great resume?

 

I read 3 to 4 books a week 

just to keep my mind awake, 

away from the anxiety I feel

when the lights go out. 

This isn’t healthy and it’s starting to show.

I’m sure it would go away once we were away.

And my 3 to 4 would become 1 to 2.

 

It’s hard to breathe, I do nothing but think,

What if one day all I did was dream?

Write it all down, let it all out

To dream is to try where we think the most.

 

Inherit all that has been passed down

Colours and Words

They represent all who surround me
Even in death.
They represent the day I am reborn into
And the night closing in.
I thank the Creator and Mother Earth,
Comforted by their acceptance.
I thank ancestors who once lived
With dreams and sacrifice,
And I live through them.
It is because of their struggle
I see colours in the living,
Wrapping you all
In my love
Speaking words to you all
Without hindrance.
I’ve ceased being ashamed
And living up to other’s expectations
Of me.

*Para las mujeres hermosas de mi familia (for the beautiful women in my family); mi abuelitas and their sewing talents, my great-grandmother and her beautiful crocheting; I bleed their blood, dream their dreams, and create like they created. With a thankful heart for a Creator who blessed me with so much, this is my way of paying respects to mi familia.

Will You Listen?- (the missed out Inaugural poem)

Will you listen,

with your ears as heightened

as a man who is blind?

with your mouth quietly shut,

your hands at your side,

Will you take it all in,

every word, every thought

every point and every plea,

will you grasp it and take it seriously?

Allow it to dwell and thrive,

or will you let it flow

into one ear and out the other side,

like liquid cowardice

that reeks from within?

Like hopeless cravings made

from other plans that don’t

involve the people?

We only want to be heard,

understood.

We only want to be seen,

these tired hands,

exhausted eyes

these swelling feet

these damaged knees

these broken backs

of those who came before us

also screaming;

they too had dreams.

We want you to hear the stories

from those who came before us.

We want you to hear,

truly acknowledge the meaning.

Hear our cries, our weary voices

our pains and agonies

our hopes and our beliefs.

We are the reality,

it is your choice to perceive.

Believe me, believe them,

the world was built on the backs

of so many women and men.

Will you climb down

into the trenches where we live

where we give

where you seem to be

so familiar with?

Will you feel the pain

for eight hours a day

in the heat or the cold.

Back bent over

shoulders screaming for relief,

or standing for twelve hours

with a thirty minute break

two tens in between.

With a paycheck that dwindles

before it is seen?

Will you stand in a classroom

while the youth of today

choose a gun instead of a book,

as the words of great leaders

they piss down the drain

all in the name of

ipods and video games.

All in the name of

a lack of intelligence

and a broken home.

Will you sit back while

the future can’t handle their own?

Are you giving up on hope

on those teachers who fear

that danger is close

that failure is near

because no one wants

to get involved with family lives.

Change must start

if our country is to survive.

Will you sit in an ER

full of sick and suffering

with limited healthcare

and choices

watching nurses do more

while unheard are their voices?

Men and women who are under-appreciated

while they comfort the ailing

while they wipe up

the blood, the urine, the emaciated.

While lacking in sleep

lacking in pay

because healthcare

doesn’t care about patient

and hospital staffing complaints.

Will you stand up for us

against pitiful healthcare

against shameful wages

against greedy businessman

and uncaring management?

It is because of us

this world runs.

Are you still listening?

Will you continue to listen

as your new term begins?

Will you listen to a people

who want more than this,

who still want to live

still want to dream,

still want to love and give

all they can give?

The world was built,

from people who envisioned

a different world

then the one we now live in.

The people need to speak

since you seem to offer “Change”

Or is it still just a sham

in the political scheme of things?

It’s time to put up

or walk away quietly.

Will you stand with us

or against us

and start taking questions

from we the people who stand

and need to be heard.

This isn’t a popularity contest,

it’s a Presidency.

It’s time to get your hands dirty,

and understand the cries

from the rest of the country

you so want to support.

*Just a quick note. I was inspired by Richard Blanco’s poem, and with that inspiration came up with my own to challenge our President to perform his duties and still go above and beyond for the people. We should not be afraid to ask the real questions and expect real answers, because hope is all we have in the end.

 

*Excited to announce that my poem was added to the La Bloga webzine, January 29th.  This is definitely the year for all things possible!